Sunday, February 19, 2006

I should have stuck with sewing.

We've all had moments like this, where we look back upon the crossroads where we had to make a choice.

If we make the right choice, we may never realize it. Life goes on and nothing happens to draw our attention to the choice. We make these choices a thousand times a day.

If we make the wrong choice, we may never forget it.

Sometimes an event, truly insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe, can send our reality into a frenzy. No, our lives are not ruined, neither are we left destitude or physically harmed, but a thing we hold quite dear has been utterly destroyed.

Yes, I am talking about a message board.

But that's beside the point. It could be anything, really, but it just illustrates the idea that each choice we make can have far-reaching effects on the things around us.

I woke up Saturday morning with a happy thought. "I think I'll sew today," I told myself. I've had a new idea for an outfit and thought I'd give it a try turning it from sketches and ideas into reality.

Instead I got distracted with messageboard updates and options and such. I thought, "Hmm. yeah I guess it's important to keep that updated, what with security and such. Maybe I should do that instead."

And with that thought, I stood upon the event horizon, staring into the inescapable gravity of the black hole that spread out before me. Two choices lay before me. One would ensure safety, the other - destruction. I knew not that with my choice, the event horizon was crossed and there was no escape from that black hole.

Almost one fully year my message board has been active. Almost one full year, and now it's gone. Every last post, every last user profile, every last smiley! It even wiped out the smileys for godsake!!!!

Has the universe been destroyed? No. Wars have not broken out, nor famine or plague. No one has been rendered unemployed. But for me, my own little world has been sucked into the crushing depths.

But, not all is lost. Even geniuses such as Stephen Hawking theorized that a black hole might in fact give off radiation, and just as those tiny particles go shooting out from the otherwise sealed fate, so too do I have a particle of hope.

Of courses, that hope will cost me a nice little sum to the tune of $150.00.

No More Illusions will rise again. It's just a matter of whether I can resurrect it while avoiding that hefty little fee or no.

But, my most beloved friends... I am overwhelmed with so many offers to contribute to it's resurrection. I am humbled by so many who found such a home at my little board that they would offer to help with the restore fee to have it back.

So, here I now stand, on the other side of that fateful desicion. My choice was made, I traveled that path, and upon reflection... I can not say that I made the wrong choice.


Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

i can't even imagine what I would do if something like that happend to my blog!

8:48 PM  
Blogger The Sandmonkey said...


8:58 PM  
Blogger elengil said...


9:00 PM  
Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

ur name is zahrah? as in flower?


9:37 PM  
Blogger elengil said...

Not my real name, no. I'm part of a medieval re-enactment society and I study Turkish culture specifically so the name I adopted in this society is Fatima al-Zahrah bint Khalid (since Fatima is my absolute favorite Arabic female name and Khalid is my absolute favorite Arabic male name).

Zahrah was a name I actually picked somewhat randomly for something else entirely but so many people know me by that name now I figured I had to leave it in somewhere. ;)

I do like the name. I've found several different meanings for it though.. does it mean flower then? Cause I've also seen it as 'star' and 'white'..

hmm. feel free to come on over to my MB, scraggly and pathetic as it is at the moment. It might be an easier forum for discussion of this type. :)

9:44 PM  
Anonymous sandyg said...

It's been an awful experience, but from what you say, you have found out that you have some true friends who stood behind you during the crisis. Always good to know! Sorry I can't help...but I can send you a hug and hopes that all will be well in your world soon!

12:47 PM  
Blogger Tymian said...

It will be back. I've already told you that if I need to help you repost every single message by hand,I'm there. That board is quite literally my life support. :)

1:23 PM  
Blogger pamela said...

you know how they say it's the little things that make things better? it's also *so* often the little things that are totally crushing. even when we realize they aren't remotely life-threatening. maybe *because* we recognize that?


2:17 PM  

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