Friday, February 17, 2006

They Really Said It (and made me giggle)

Here are some of my favorite quotes I've compiled over.. well a while anyway.
Some are funny, some are profound, and some just are.

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
- Galileo Galilei

"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)

'The ships hung in the air in much the same way that bricks don't.' - Douglas Adams HHGTTG

Do not trifle with Dragons, as you are small, and crunchy, and taste good with ketchup.

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. - Victor Hugo's Les Miserables

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. -- William Dement

Only the shallow know themselves. -- Oscar Wilde
[He] is Canadian. You can tell by his youth. -- Oscar Wilde

Stupidity has a knack of getting its way. -- Albert Camus, The Plague

Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend. And inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -- Groucho Marx

The longest word in the English language...begins methianylglutaminyl and finishes 1,913 letters later as alynalalanylthreonilarginylserase. I don't know what it is used for, though I daresay it would take some rubbing to get it out of the carpet. -- Bill Bryson, The Mother Tongue

Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria! -- Calvin (Bill Watterson)

Not only does the English Language borrow words from other languages, it sometimes chases them down dark alleys, hits them over the head, and goes through their pockets. -- Eddy Peters

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

It's usually a little easier (for once) to interpret cats' reactions [to fiddling]; some just sit and purr, others stalk off but very few try to join in the music. Of course, the enigmatic ones who start to play with your bow-arm require a little deeper interpretive analysis. -- Tom Paley

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. -- Dave Barry

All the world is queer save me and thee; and sometimes I think thee a little queer. -- Quaker saying

As my mother always said, "You can't talk about the fate of the universe on an empty stomach." ... Actually, she never said that. -- Eric Jensen, Astro prof

Me is so important. I like me. -- Kyla Tornheim '01

Please don't try to bite my shirt off me. If you want me to take it off, just ask...and I'll say no. -- Hollis Easter '03

Putting up daggers on the wall always does so much for the hominess of a room. -- Kyla Tornheim '01

Penguins are just really marginal birds. -- Ed Kako, psychology prof

Without music, life would be an error. -- Nietzsche

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. -- Laurie Anderson

"We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today." - Stacia Tauscher

"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV." - Jerry Seinfeld

"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." - E.L. Doctorow

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone." - Harriet Beecher Stowe

"Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child’s loss of a doll and a king’s loss of a crown are events of the same size." - Mark Twain

"Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears. " - Edgar Allen Poe

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart..." - William Wadsworth

"Deliver me from writers who say the way they live doesn't matter. I'm not sure a bad person can write a good book, If art doesn't make us better, then what on earth is it for." - Alice Walker

"Lust is when you love what you see. Love is when you lust for what’s inside." - Renee Conkle

"We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain. "- Alan Watts

"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead." -Bertrand Russell

"Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself. (I am large, I contains multitudes)." - Whitman, Walt

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"If you cant change your mind, are you sure you have one?"

"I have seen the truth and it makes no sense."

"Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious."

"No one ever has it 'all together.' That's like trying to eat 'once and for all.' --Marilyn Grey

"Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you." - Aldous Huxley

"Traditional scientific method unofrtunately has never quite gotten around to saying exactly where to pick up more of those hypotheses." - Robert M. Pirsig, in the book "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintance"

"The art of acting consists of keeping people from coughing." - Sir Ralph Richardson

"I cant say that I've loved you all either - but I've loved as many of you as I could." - Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H

"You want the whole book or just the first chapter?" - unknown, in answer to the question "how are you?"

"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education." - Albert Einstein

"Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing." - John Andrew Holmes

"We must never cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time." - T.S. Eliot

What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad. - Dave Barry

Drink your coffee; there are people in India sleeping.

Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.

Is there another word for synonym?

Losing a husband can be hard: in my case it was almost impossible.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

If a thing is worth doing wouldn't it have been done already?

I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

concerning other's intellect:

All foam, no beer.

Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

Bright as Alaska in December.

Fell out of the family tree.

Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

Firefly and Serenity Quotes

Wash - "Little River just gets more colourful by the moment. What'll she do next?"

Zoe - "Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair, it's a toss-up."
Wash - "I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot and we don't all die from it."

Jayne - "Anybody remember her coming after me with the butchers knife??
Wash - "Wacky fun."
Jayne - "You wanna go, little man?"
Wash - "Only if it's some place with candle light."

Early - "Where did she go?"
Simon - "I can't keep track of her when she's not incorporeally possessing a space ship - don't look at me."

Zoe - "Get her runnin again?"
Mal - "Yeah."
Zoe - "So not running now?"
Mal - "Not so much."

Sir Warrick - "You didn't have to wound that man."
Mal - "Yeah I know, it was just funny."

Mal - "Doctor, I've taken your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you: I will get very choked up. Honestly. There might even be tears."

Wash - "Can we start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90 pound girl? Because that's *never* getting old."

Mal - "While I'm gone, Zoe is in command. Now, if I'm not back in an hour, I want you to take this ship, take off... and you come and you rescue me!"
Zoë - "What? And risk "my" ship?"

Mal - "This is the Captain. We have a slight problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some turbulence and then... explode."

Kaylee: "I carried such a torch and we coulda.... Goin' on a year now and I ain't had nuthin' twixt my nethers that weren't run on batteries!!"
Mal: "Oh GOD! I can't know that!"
Jayne: "I could stand to hear a little more."

Kaylee - "Tell me more good stuff about me."

Simon - "Alright! I'll go, just... stop describing me."

River - "You see the snow on the roof is too heavy, the cealing will cave in ... his brains are in terrible danger."
Book - "River, please why don't you come out?"
River - "No! Can't. Too. much. hair."
Book - "Is that it??"
Zoe - "Hell yes, preacher! If I didn't have stuff to get done I'd be in there with her."
Book - "It's the rules of my order. Like the book.. it symbolizes.."
Zoe - "Uh huh.. River.. honey. he's putting the hair away now."
River - "It doesn't matter. It'll still be there... waiting."

River - "Juuust keep walkin' preacher-man."

Things that make you go hmmmmmmm

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
What do chickens think we taste like?
Why don't eggs taste just like chicken?
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
Which is the other side of the street?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
hy don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

And best for last.. .Jewish humour:

As a general principle, Jewish holidays are divided between days on which you must starve and days on which you must overeat. Many Jews observe no fewer than 16 fasts throughout the Jewish year, based on the time-honored principle that even if you are sure that you are ritually purified, you definitely aren't. Though there are many feasts and fasts, there are no holidays requiring light snacking. (Although you can invent your own e.g. the Extremely Reform Festival of the Pretzel Sticks.) Note: Unlike Christians, who simply attend church on special days (e.g. Ash Wednesday), on Jewish holidays most Jews take the whole day off. This is because Jews, for historical and personal reasons, are more stressed out.

The Yo-Yo Diet Guide to the Jewish Holidays:
Rosh Hashanah -- Feast
Tzom Gedalia -- Fast
Yom Kippur -- More fasting
Sukkot -- Feast
Hashanah Rabbah -- More feasting
Simchat Torah -- Keep feasting
Month of Heshvan -- No feasts or fasts for a whole month. Get a grip on yourself.
Hanukkah -- Eat potato pancakes
Tenth of Tevet -- Do not eat potato pancakes
Tu B'Shevat -- Feast
Fast of Esther -- Fast
Purim -- Eat pastry
Passover -- Do not eat pastry
Shavuot -- Dairy feast (cheesecake, blintzes etc.) 1
7th of Tammuz -- Fast (definitely no cheesecake or blintzes)
Tish B'Av -- Very strict fast (don't even think about cheesecake or blintzes)
Month of Elul -- End of cycle. Enroll in Center for Eating Disorders before the High Holidays arrive...

(ok I lied about the "last" bit.. because one more category: quotes either I've made up, or quotes I've *thought* I made up:)

I'm a work in progress; unfortunately, my author seems to have developed writers block.

The true measure of a cook is not in the mistakes they make, but in those they can correct!

Sometimes even the best optimism in the world just cant defeat reality.

I'm getting a poor exchange rate on my two cents.

I'm not lazy, I'm energy efficient.

Dream big, because by-god something big has to happen in my bed!!!


Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

You like firefly???


9:43 AM  
Blogger elengil said...

who DOESN'T!?!?


(if someone doesn't, don't tell me. I'd just prefer to live in blissful ignorance, thanks)

9:52 AM  
Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

I saw the movie 6 times. 6! River kicks ass! Mal Rulez. But Joss whedon, goddamn him, did he really need to kill Book and Wash? I mean, fine, Wash was useles, but Book? You can't kill the preacher, especially the gun using kind. Grrrrrrr...

So are you just a Browncoat, or a full fledged Whedonhead?

10:08 AM  
Blogger elengil said...

I'm an Anti-Social Bastard, actually ;)

... actually, Firefly/Serenity are the only Whedon things I've ever seen.

As for the dead, hell at least Book died for a REASON! Unlike Wash whose death was pointless and sucked. *sulk*

10:17 AM  

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